Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Ardh Satya : The Existential Crisis

This poetry has been one of my favourites along with the film which I saw
aged 14 then.

Theme poem Ardh Satya by Dilip Chitre (Hindi)

Chakravyuh mein ghusne se pehle,
kaun tha mein aur kaisa tha,
yeh mujhe yaad hi na rahega.
Chakravyuh mein ghusne ke baad,
mere aur chakravyuh ke beech,
sirf ek jaanleva nikat’ta thi,
iska mujhe pata hi na chalega.
Chakravyuh se nikalne ke baad,
main mukt ho jaoon bhale hi,
phir bhi chakravyuh ki rachna mein
farq hi na padega.
Marun ya maarun,
maara jaoon ya jaan se maardun.
iska faisla kabhi na ho paayega.
Soya hua aadmi jab
neend se uthkar chalna shuru karta hai,
tab sapnon ka sansar use,
dobara dikh hi na paayega.
Us roshni mein jo nirnay ki roshni hai
sab kuchh s’maan hoga kya?
Ek palde mein napunsakta,
ek palde mein paurush,
aur theek taraazu ke kaante par
ardh satya.

English translation
Before entering the circle of deceit,
who I was, and what I was,
I would not remember.
After entering the circle of deceit,
(there was) between me and the circle,
only a deathly intimacy
that I never realised.
After leaving the circle of deceit,
even if I am set free,
the design of the circle of deceit,
will hardly be different.
Whether I kill, or die,
Am killed, or kill (the other)
these questions will never be decided.
When a sleeping man
awakes and steps forth,
then the world of dreams
may never be seen again (by him).
In that, the light of Decision,
will everything be level ?
On one tray (of a balance) is Impotence,
and on the other is Manhood,
and exactly at the needle point,
a half-truth.

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